The Disney prince is a flawed prince. When you’re raised with the romantic stories of princes you’re set up for failure. The prince who goes on a quest to save the kingdom always becomes king. The distressed ingenue is always helpless until their prince arrives.
Even queer characters find their “knight in shining armor” when they date an older man with money. But these relationships rarely work out in reality. The fable gives the hero a reward for their trial. Real life has very different consequences.
Disney, Broadway, and television set us up. We’re completely unprepared for how to think about our gay relationships. I’ve belted “If Someone Like You” and “He’s a very nice prince…” for years (and in so many forms from many musicals).
The Set Up
Fast forward to you getting over that you’re alone in the universe. As a young gay man you’re taught to think that there is someone perfect out there for you. And if you dare to dream that you should be loved you’re right. You should be.
You probably hear your friends (or a nosy mom) tell you that, “you’re so handsome, how could you be single?” Or, “Anyone would be lucky to have you.” <eye roll>
The Problem
The challenge with these types of support is that they put the problem outside you. Just like those Disney princes, you now need to go off on a quest to find the perfect person for you. The dragon you have to slay is someone else’s perception of who you are.
And that problem isn’t yours to fix.
The Challenges
So you start dating. Or at least trying. ‘Cause you’re looking for that Disney prince that will solve all the problems. That one person who’ll take them all away by loving you forever.
He’s also looking for his knight in shining armor. That amazing soul who’ll save him from the wreck his life seems to be. And your traumas run up against his traumas. But instead of recognizing the trauma you blame the asshole who doesn’t meet your expectations of super knight Disney prince.
Luckily, you find a great therapist and tarot reader. Maybe a relationship coach. And together you work through your traumas, projections, and expectations. And you work towards healing.
The Role Tarot Plays
The Disney Prince or knight in shining armor shows up in readings when I see the knight of cups or son of cups. Wide eyed and in awe of the love that’s in front of him, the knight of cups is an indicator that either you’re in love or you’re putting someone on a level they’ll rarely ever be able to reach.
Tarot can be a great tool to use in concert with therapy and coaching to discover your hidden biases, traumas, choices, and communication styles. As a tool tarot identifies the areas of focus that live within you that are holding you back from your value and worth. And once you can hold those in concert with your personal work you’re the prince you’ve been looking for all along.