New Year’s Resolution Fail? Try This.

by | Jan 8, 2018 | Life

Avoid New Year’s Resolution Fail

Did you know you’ll see roughly 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by mid-February? First, that’s only a month away. Second, that’s kinda depressing.  That’s a lot of self-improvement left on the gym floor. So, if only 20% don’t fail, how many of them are actually achieved? Ugh. NM.

Lucky for me I’ve never been a resolution setter. And lucky for you, Tim Ferris and I believe in the same process. Set goals, not resolutions.

Let’s walk through some of that process right now. There should be some easy take aways like:

  • Set SMART goals you’re interested in
  • Allow family and self care to come first
  • If it’s not on the calendar it won’t get done
  • Celebrate your win, no matter the outcome
  • And this free journal for the pre-planner stage

[tds-buttontransparent medium link=”https://comingouttarot.com/download/selfimprovementjournal/” textcolor=”#ffffff” textcolorhover=”#000000″ buttoncolor=”#89D085″ buttoncolorhover=”#89D085″ bordercolor=”#89D085″ bordersize=”1px” bgcolortransparency=”30″ bgcolorhovertransparency=”30″ newwindow=”true” ]Get On Track[/tds-buttontransparent]

Get Your Shit Together.

Do you ever feel like holding yourself accountable is exhausting? It’s kinds like you have no personal assistant (wait, you know what it’s like to have one?) or partner to get you through. You’re on your own. That can wear you down.

If you’re looking for someone to tell you how to get your shit together for the coming year, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s the secret: create the goal, create the plan, create & use a system, throw yourself a party.

A lot of people will probably try and sell you a planner or a three ring binder, or some other paper doc. I know people who live by paper (That’s why the journal is linked). I can’t do it. You know that paper always disappears somewhere. Since you’re probably already on your phone, I’m guessing you have access to apps. I got some free apps that will change your life.

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Change, Goals & Failure, #Winning!

Do you love change? I don’t mean going someplace unexpected for dinner when you go to the same place every week. I mean real upheaval in your life. The kind of change that happens when babies come along or you move in together, or puppies (or ferrets!) enter your apartment. That kind of change means you have to give up one thing for another.

The best thing about setting goals for the new year is that you’re actually getting serious about your personal self-improvement. And you’re giving up on waiting for the universe to drop something in your lap. Now that’s a New Year’s Resolution Fail.

Failing has such a negative connotation. The judgement around the word is out of control. Failing is the opportunity we should live for! If you failed, at least you tried. And guess what, now you know something. And that’s not a failure at all. That’s a major win.

Do You Want To Kill Your Dreams ?

The “I don’t know if I…” statement is the biggest cause of resolution fail. You’re the owner of that statement. You can change it at any time. If you don’t, those dreams never make it to the resolution stage! That means they never get to the planning stage. That means you killed them.

There are 4 billion people in this world. Don’t try and tell me that there aren’t hundreds of people who would pick up what you’re puttin’ down. So put something out there. Because if you don’t, who will?

Don’t Tell Me What To Do.

BTW, creativity is fine. Sometimes when you’re a creative you think that organizing yourself isn’t for you.  Lies. You just organize yourself differently. I’ve going to give you a structure. How you use the structure is up to you.

If you need a bedazzled notebook to keep you inspired, get to bedazzlin’. If you want designer folders to keep track of what you’re doing then use them. And in the words of RuPaul, “Don’t fuck it up.” (‘Cause I want you to send me a picture of your system! Seriously, I love a good office supply pic.)

Once more thing, family doesn’t get to be an excuse. Surprise, someone has a cold. Whoops, I need help with my homework. This will no longer be a problem because you’ll have a bedazzled system with unicorns inspiring you.

Need Some Help?

If you’re not following me on Facebook, make sure to jump over there and like my page. I hope to keep you inspired while you take your self-improvement journey. No more New Year’s Resolution Fail. You’re throwing that out the window when you follow me. I will be there to support you.

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Step By Step.

Get Your Goal.

Without a clear goal, your new year’s resolution fail is imminent. Create a folder in Evernote called ‘2018 Goals.’ Start your first note by making a list (bonus points for bullets) of all the things that you’d like to achieve in the coming year. I’ll wait. Kidding. Not kidding. I’ll be here.

If you’re struggling to come up with something to achieve, try this exercise (also in the journal):

  • Close your eyes and picture yourself. Now picture yourself in December 2018. What’s different about you? What are you proud of? What are people excited about that you’ve done? Write these down.
  • Picture yourself at the end of the year again. Use the phrase ”I am…” and finish the sentence. Write these down.

If this isn’t jump starting you, a Tarot reading could be a good option. If you’ve sat with me before you know that I love confirming where you are today and giving you the steps to achieve your goals tomorrow. An email reading may be the ticket to get some ideas flowing. You could ask something like, “What goals should I focus on for 2018?”

Once you’ve got some goals written down, you’re 1/2 way done with a plan. 100% of plans fail when they’re not in a system. And nearly 100% of plans fail when you don’t think about the risks to your plan. The #1 risk? FAMILY.

Involve Everyone.

In a new Evernote note, call it something like ‘Big events in 2018.’ This is a great exercise to share with family, your spouse, or your partner. You’ll also get a chance to communicate why you’re having this conversation. (Ha! Now you’re accountable to someone close to you! Yes!) Get down all the events & dates that are going to be resource hogs for you. ‘Cause these resource hogs are about responsibility or love. Both require your attention.

But Seth, these things always change! Why am I wasting my time? Because once you have a plan, you have right of first refusal. That means that you can refuse the new change (#choices) or accept it. With everything else planned, you can plan around with confidence.

Evernote tip: use tags to organize your notes.

Birth of a System.

You’re already creating a system. Your Evernote notebook and the notes inside can be tagged, searched, and updated on your computer and your phone. You’re synced. And that means updates are a finger tip away and as immediate as fast as they come in.

Evernote tip: use reminders to get more tasks done

Right of First Refusal.

Now that you have a list of important dates and the goals that you’d like to achieve, it’s time to get in front of your calendar app. Or Asana. Or your scheduler. Or your stone tablet. Whatever reminds you when to be somewhere. Add all the important dates to your calendar.

Before you get overwhelmed you should do one more exercise.

  • Look a the goals you came up with. If you have more than three pick the three most important. Now ask yourself, which one get’s you excited? Which one did you think of first? Or did your eyes gravitate towards? Bold it, circle it, start it, whatever.
  • Now which one makes you feel like it’s going to be work?  Strike it. You’re not doing that one this time. Forget it. You don’t have the will to achieve it. And if you’re not interested in it, why do it?

If you want to keep the second place winner, great.

Timing Is Everything.

Next to the remaining goals write down a month that you’d like to see this goal reached. You just did a lot of calendar work, so you should be pretty familiar with what’s open and what’s busy. If the goal will take longer than 1 year, split the goal into what you can do this coming year. You don’t want to set yourself up for a New Year’s Resolution Fail!

  1. Under your goals in the system you’re using, add another bullet. (sorry paper people, use a margin? If you have the journal, there’s a page for this part. It’s got circles on it.)
  2. Write down what you have to physically do to achieve the goal. Example: If I want to lose 10 pounds I need to create a shopping list, schedule weight training and cardio, and plan meals.
  3. Add a date next to the action. Preferably before the due date of the goal. Something like cardio is going to require a repeating date like Tuesdays at 8:30a starting 1/2/18.
  4. Add all of these actions to your calendar. If it’s not on the calendar it doesn’t get done.

Now you’ve got your goals, big events, and action items to reach your goals in a system. One that can remind you what’s coming up so you don’t have to rely on your memory. You’ve also set time aside, here’s the right of first refusal again, which means you honor the time or reschedule as necessary.

Calendar pro tip: use the reminders.

If action items aren’t coming easy to you, I’m great at this part. Shoot me an email and I’ll see if I can help. If you’d like to take it through a Tarot reading, we can do that too.

USE THE SYSTEM.

Honor the system you created. If you don’t honor it, this doesn’t work. Whether it’s paper or Evernote or a calendar, use the system.

Keep checking in with yourself and make sure that you’re not always rescheduling. Sometimes it’s inevitable. But if you’re always pushing what you want to accomplish off, you’re not honoring the system. You’re taking advantage of it. (I know, I do it sometimes.)

Next thing you know you’ve made it to the goal month and you’ve achieved your goal! That’s why you should also schedule in a celebration for yourself. Awesome meal treat, pedicure, time with family, something on your Amazon wish list. Whatever. Why? Because we respond to the carrot that’s dangled in front of us. Sometimes I reward all my effort at working out with a cheeseburger I can’t get my mouth around. I love food.

If you plan on having a party to honor all the people who helped you become who you are today, use an app like MeetUp or Eventbrite or Facebook to get your friends together.

I’m here to help.

If you’re ever in need of a boost, join me over on Facebook @comingouttarot for support. It’s a great way to stay connected and share ideas about meeting our goals.

Tarot can also be a powerful support tool. When you fell like you’re stuck or stagnating. When you see another year coming and you still haven’t done what you said you were going to do. When you don’t even remember what you promised over champagne! Tarot can help you brainstorm those goals, confirm your path, outline your actions, and keep you headed in the right direction.

The cherry on top? This is what I do. I help people clarify their goals and be accountable for their actions. The added bonus is that I can use Tarot to identify the unknowns. The frustrations. The shadows. The path to achievement. We’re going to avoid New Year’s Resolution Fail together!

Ready for More Freedom?

Writing down goals creates purpose. Having a purpose is powerful medicine. It creates drive, increases attractiveness, creates mystery, and provides a feeling of accomplishment.

Scheduling goals creates freedom. You just might be surprised how much more time you realize you have.

Having an accountability system keeps you focused. You’ll incrementally achieve your goal. Even if it felt unwieldily before.

Give It Two Weeks

The routine will probably be a little chaotic at first. Especially if you’ve never worked this way before. Trust the system. If you don’t give it a chance, then you’re back to New Year’s Resolution Fail. And we don’t want that.

If the system doesn’t work for you after two weeks promise that you’ll set down and think of all the reasons why it didn’t work. If any of the reasons are because you organize yourself a different way, alter the system to fit you. If it didn’t work because you didn’t honor it, then I would encourage you to try again.

Are you excited about the you that you see in December 2018?. ‘Cause that’s who you’re on track to level up. You 3.0. (or if you’re older than 30, you can always use You 3.5)

Listen You 3.0, if you’re looking for purpose, freedom, and accountability, join me over at Facebook to continue the conversation!

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