Top 5 Queer Relationships Challenges
- No Model
- Navigating Safety
- Coming Out
- Second Adolesence
- Sexual Liberation
No Model
When queer relationships begin we’re literally building them from the ground up. With little to no gay role models to guide us. Gender norms are out the window. Marriage is a heteronormative institution. And what about polyamory? Is monogomy out of touch with out queer sensibilities? If you’re experiencing that there is no model, building your own is hard but doable. Keep going!
Navigating Safety
When the simple act of displaying honest and true affection for someone you care for can be the precursor to homophobia and murder, queer relationships require a different kind of safety than heteronormative ones. If you’re lucky, you may even start to examine your own internalized homophobia. If you’re going through this, you’re not alone.
Coming Out
Coming out is just the tip of the iceberg. Once you’re on the journey of coming out, it never ends. Depending on where you are in your journey and where your partner is, it can cause all kinds of stressors on your queer relationship. If you’re going through this your relationships may seem extremely vulnerable right now.
Second Adolesence
After coming out, queer people go through a second adolesence. We basically have to learn how to manage our relationships all over again from a queer perspective. Except this time we have money, no parental boundaries, and a lot less limitations. If you’re going though this your relationships may seem all kinds of messed up right now.
Sexual Liberation
Finally accepting or choosing your identity will create a space where you feel sexually liberated. This creates pressure within a relationship to meet sometimes unrealistic expectations. It can also encourage the sense of, there’s more fish in the sea, or, if this doesn’t work out I have options. This creates an environment of disposable relationships rather than one that prizes supportive partnership. If you’re going through this your relationships may seem very one sided right now.
Queer Relationships And Tarot
So what next? Find the best tarot reader for you. Reach out to them. Talk to them about the state of your relationship and what you’re trying to achieve.
I had a tarot reader tell me about each of these phases in my life. But what I didn’t have at the time were the tools to know that I could have asked more questions about what to do for a strong queer relationship. I encourage you to get specific with your tarot reader.
Ask questions about how you can have the strongest partnership or improve your communication. Try asking what the outcome is if you discuss polyamory or going to IML with your husband-partner-boyfriend-whatever.
Or maybe you’re okay being single and your navigating the relationships you’re having with sexual partners. Those can be even more intense to maintain. That’s a great time to ask about how to maintain a [insert your type here] relationship.