I get asked all the time about gay relationships. It’s my favorite topic! You might recognize yourself sounding like this:
Love life. (Seth: BTW, this is a statement)
~Shy Queer Who Hasn’t Had a Reading Before
I don’t know. I’m just kinda looking for, I mean, I had a weird date recently, but I, can you tell me more about my love life?
~Excited Queer Person Who Hopes Tarot Can Provide a White Knight ( Or Jason Mamoa)
I’m currently in a monogamous relationship and I’d like to approach my partner about polyamory. We’ve talked about being open, but I know that’s not what I truly want. Should I…would he even…I don’t know. Will this ever work?
~Focused Queer Who Is Ready To Live Their Best Life
I’m going to bring this from the angle of my favorite way to work. This is certainly not the way every reader approaches gay relationship readings. So choose your adventure!
My Approach to Gay Relationship Readings
When I’m working with you I hope that I surprise you only with opportunities to achieve your best life. While readings can be full of discovery, if you hope that I can tell you if you’re in a relationship or looking for one, I would challenge you that we can probably spend our time together better.
I prefer you be as honest with me as you can. Feel free to share as much as you want. Then, during the reading, I can spend less time uncovering what has happened and more time focused on patterns of behavior and what you should do next.
One of my favorite ways to do that is to use a spread that details what you’re thinking, how you’re speaking, how you feel, and what you want most. And if you’re working on improving a current queer relationship, I’ll pull the same card layout for your partner. Then we’ll look for congruence or in-congruence for you both individually and in the relationship.
Your Queer Relationship Journey Is Personal
You come at your relationships in a very different way than someone else. It’s unique. So when you sit in front of me and ask for a relationship reading you’ve opened a HUGE box. I can help best if you narrow where I can be of the most support.
The following questions are meant to help you narrow what you want most. Answering them will also help me understand where you’ve been on your relationship journey and where you’re headed so we can focus on what’s next.
Gay Relationship Questions For You:
- Are you in a relationship?
- Do you want it to be better or do you want to get out?
- If you want it to be better, what does better mean to you? (Ex: Improved communication, kinkier or more sex, improved intimacy, similar desires?)
- Are you trying to choose between your spouse and your lover?
- Would you like to open the relationship or create a polyamorous lifestyle?
- Are you looking for a relationship?
- If you are, are you looking for a fuck buddy, a monogamous partner, an open relationship, or polyamorous relationships (to name a few)?
Without the detail of these filters, we‘re going to discuss your relationship generally and then eventually dive into one of those topics anyway. If there’s something you truly want, why not ask me (especially if you’re struggling to ask a partner)? I don’t come with the added emotional experience!
You might also find support in reading something. Dr. Tony Ortega’s book, #IsHeHereYet is a great resource. Tony explores his own journey through relationship challenges. He also provides great insight that will reflect your own experiences. He’s no stranger to tarot too – I’ve built some spreads off if this book!
There Is No Judgement Here
The more out you are about your gay relationship wants and needs to stronger your reading will be. The clearer your intention is the stronger your personal insights will be. I’ve had an entire reading about the dick size of a lover and if they were worth keeping around. (They were, psychological shame was the issue. The lover was contributing to higher self esteem and body positivity)
There is no judgement here. If you’re looking for a fuck buddy, let’s find you the best damn FB that’s out there for you. If improved communication would save your marriage, let’s focus there. Or if you’re side piece is giving you more life than your current partner, let’s discuss why, who stays, who goes, or how it all comes together. I’m here to help you live your best life.
Maybe you just want to dive into some kink and you’re not sure how your partner will receive it. Hiding that harness isn’t going to get it on anyone so let me and Tarot be the bridge to strapping in. And if it’s all vanilla that needs a little cinnamon to shake things up, cool.
If you’re clear and focused about what you want from your relationship from the beginning, we spend all of our time on what’s most important TO YOU. Time is valuable and there’s no point in modesty when your future is at stake. So let’s get going on creating that dreamy-dream world.
Get There By Narrowing The Relationship Question
Here’s an example of narrowing a relationship question. Let’s say you’re looking for an open gay relationship and you’re not sure how your partner would feel about it. Rather than asking about how to improve your relationship, you could ask how your relationship would change if you spoke to your partner about being open.
Or, same topic, you could share that you’re talking with your partner about being open and you’re not sure how it’s going over. We could explore the current state of your relationship so you could approach the preferred outcome (open relationship) with some clear insight and suggested next steps.
Relationship Reading Examples
Imagine you broached the open relationship topic and the reading you receive indicates that what you’re thinking and saying line up with what you want most, the open relationship. And your partner might be saying they want the same thing but they’re thinking it’s going to be a disaster because they really want to support you even though they feel monogamy is the strongest option for them.
Picture it, you discussed the open relationship topic and you’re sitting for your reading. It indicates that polyamory is your partners‘ dream and an open relationship is yours. Now you have a clearer starting point for the next discussion. And you just may be closer in what you both want that you realize. Just different approaches. Next step: clarification, ground rules, and communication!
I Had The Reading Now What?
Your reading experience will be confirming, eye opening, and provide a sense of relief. Once the cards are all on the table, you probably dove deeper into if you want to continue the relationship (what’s the outcome if you do?) or if it’s time to acknowledge that the time you shared has come to an end (what’s the outcome if this choice is made?).
Ultimately, your next steps are up to you. Based on what you learned in the reading you can ignore everything we talked about and hope it all works out. Or you can start to implement changes in how you think, what you say, and how you act in order to reach your goals.
Tarot can’t do the work for you. But it can give you a great nudge in the right direction. So c’mon dreamy-dream world!