Queer relationship value is real. In the past week I’ve read about anti-gay politician declaring that heterosexual relationships are “superior” to homosexual relationships and that Norway is celebrating 50 years of decriminalizing gay relationships with a gay Santa.
As gay men we do enough to create barriers in our own relationships. We don’t need another homophobe declaring that our relationships serve no purpose and that they’re inferior to another. Forcing the idea that queer relationships have no worth or value.
Sure there are studies that will share an evolutionary purpose for queer people. And of course our relationships are not inferior.
Relationships are a living experience with shared goals, passions, and interests. And when those things align with sexuality, profession, and family – you’ve got a winner!
What I hear in the voices of those who don’t understand our queer relationships is the fear that we’ve got something better. That the grass is greener over here. And that they’re afraid they’ll enjoy living without the constraints they’ve given themselves.
And so their fear is born from the incongruence of what they want and how they feel. The conflation rumbles deep in how they’re feeling, rolls around and gets justified in how they think. Then it comes out their mouths in awful statements that continue a colonial mindset and alignment with past oppressors.
And the cycle continues.
But then there are others who break the cycle. Like Norway’s celebration of the decriminalization of homosexuality. Their highly anticipated annual postal advertisement shows not only acceptance of who we are and who we love, but also that our relationships have depth, value, and worth.
Your relationships, whether they’re romantic, familial, or professional, all have depth, value, and worth.