When you’re getting a tarot reading does your reader let you choose the deck? If they do, you might want to choose a deck that represents your queer relationship so that you see yourself represented in the cards.
So how do you even know what that means? How does a pack of cards represent all the things that your relationship is to you and your partner? Let’s run through five different lenses that you can use to choose the right deck so that you get the best queer relationship advice possible.
Because the cards are inherently visual in nature, let’s discuss what you’re about to see when you choose your deck. What I’m about to describe may sound a bit complicated, but I know you already pass many experiences through these filters in microseconds every day. So stick with me.
We’re gonna talk through the images you’re seeing. We’ll discuss the colors represented. I want to talk about if the community you call home is represented. I would also expect that the culture you experience is shown, so we’ll touch on that.
Let’s get started.
Queer Relationship Imagery
The images in a deck can draw you in or extremely off putting. Art creates a visceral reaction in most of us. Ok, all of us. I mean, who am I kidding, the queer community is bursting with artists. (You were an actor, weren’t you? Oh, you are? That’s it, tap that hair back into place back there, Mary)
For example, which of these Devil cards draws your attention?
An attraction to a card like the Devil is an instinctual reaction. It’s right to feel the tug and pull of the Devil.
And what about those cards we see in movies that always show straight people in a relationship? You’ve put yourself in the arms of one of those characters. Mentally creating the queer relationship version that makes sense in your head. What if the card could depict the relationship you already know? Read on to culture to see some of those decks.
Colors
The rainbow flag already has six colors and is going through a potential change to where it has eight or nine. Each of those colors means something to the queer community. So let the colors speak to you.
Is the deck washed with muted fall colors? Does it have a vibrant and heighten spectrum? Or are the colors sultry and sensual?
The colors should represent your queer relationship sensibility. Just like the questions above. Let it represent a muted and comfortable relationship. Allow the deck to be fabulous if your relationship is (sing it with me now) FAHHHHHHbulouuuuuuuus! Or it can be dripping with sensuality and sexual freedom.
Queer Culture Representation
This one might be tricky. Unless your reader has a deck like The Son Tarot or The Gay Tarot or Thea’s Tarot you might find yourself underrepresented. Here’s a great post by Beth Maiden to connect you to some queer tarot decks.
I think one of the types of representation that is missing in queer tarot are the subcultures that are a strong part of our community. The leather scene, the ball scene, our transgender family, the polyamorous relationships, the broader kink community, sexual freedom & sex parties, and let’s never forget the BIPOC queens, dykes, butches, and femmes who make it all possible. (Did you know there is a Drag Race deck out there now?) And so many others.
I’m starting to imaging the Tower as a drag queen at 8am with a sunrise behind her and her false eye lashes tumbling to the ground… (Wait, this is good)
Bringing Light To The Queer Culture Shadow
Now let’s take this idea a bit further. I don’t want to assume that our queer culture is solely represented by a bunch of CIS white dudes in their late 30s or mid 40s.
Black and brown queer cultures are vibrant spaces that the white CIS culture has depended upon for years. If your reader is letting you choose from their decks and you don’t see your queer relationship represented in any of the decks they have, it just may be time to reconsider your reader.
Decks today are no longer limited to European descendants. The Haindl tarot respectfully touches on multiple cultures without a trace of appropriation. The DustIIOnyx Tarot reaches into the artist’s heritage to bring querents and practitioners traditions and representation they would never see in a RWS deck. (Frankly, it turns the “traditional” deck out. In an, “I hear you and I respect you, but here’s the door, ˜cause I got this” kinda way.) And the Tarot Illuminati makes a grand attempt. (That gold guilt side tho!)
Queering the Tarot
So in the end, if you’re given the opportunity to choose a tarot deck for your reading by the reader, choose the one that makes the most sense for your queer relationship. The one that you see yourself reflected in. That will always be the right choice.