I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the gay spaces we’re losing because of the pandemic. What will replace them? What will develop as a result of the old ways being lost to social distancing and lack of economic stability?
Gays have always found a way to get together. We’ll find each other no matter what. It used to be a sideways glance, pinky rings and hanky codes. There were gay bars and community centers. Apps like Scruff & Grindr kept us connected. And retirement homes even became a thing!
But now, the need for community is greater than ever. And online spaces (apps, Zoom, Facebook groups) have transformed how we engage. On a personal level, we can have a surface level conversation with an avatar and texting. But I think we’re going to shed that for in person conversations and reinvestment in long term dating.
I think we’ll find business that support our discovery of self and support reflection. We’ll look to the root causes of trauma more often and attempt to not just release them, but to eliminate them as a group. Our shared experiences will be greater and more powerful than ever as we elevate personal growth over being in a relationship.
I think gay relationships will grow to be a recognized standard and leader in relationship best practices and norms as we bring a stronger sense of self and personal awareness to the conversation.
I pulled some cards to give me a sense of direction here. Something to ground me in where we might be headed. And they informed this post.
So many new ideas will be born out of the restrictions that the pandemic has put on us. It will be as if the necessity of war has advanced us. Because, in a way, that’s what we’re experiencing. A need to for queer ingenuity to survive what’s tearing us apart.
As we work together to create new ways of engagement, of personal reflection and awareness, and yes, fucking, we’ll uncover the best ways to bring out the best of the world around us. And as the next generation watches and experiences they’ll take it even further.
I hope that we find as much beauty as we do challenge in the uncertainty. Because that’s where the opportunity lies. Before everything gets codified, smoothed out, and sanitized.
So look to yourselves. Look to what you need to reconnect and where you can find the solutions. And if you can’t, maybe, just maybe, you’re meant to create one. And we’ll all benefit.