Tarot readings are not the best tool for checking up on other people’s behavior. It can be done. But that’s selfish.
Most people come to a tarot reading with questions about someone else. They want to know why that other person is acting the way they are. And the truth is they want control. They have an unconscious desire to control the other person’s behavior in order to achieve the outcome they think is best.
So asking me why Lance isn’t asking you to marry him on your timeline is a red flag. Listen, I’m all for a good gossip sesh. But there’s a point where that gets tired. Especially when YOUR behavior doesn’t change.
We could see each other for a year and talk about the same issues. And you’ll bemoan the fact that nothing ever changes and why does this always happen to you? A contributing factor is that you are living a story that perpetuates the cycle.
So change the story.
You change the story by recognizing the tale you’re telling yourself. It’s natural to try and solve the problem in front of you with what you can see, (or ask a reader to see for you) like the other people in your life. What may be less intuitive is to recognize that in your effort to control someone else’s story, you’re neglecting your own.
Tell me if this sounds familiar. I was about to start a reading for someone and they were sharing with me how circumstances had progressed in their budding relationship.
- They were afraid that the other person was never going to progress to the next stage of the relationship
- They feared that the other person was using shared values as excuses to block the relationship’s potential
The projections were strong! So I asked them how they felt about seeing them at the point where they felt things had changed. They answered with more projections. That’s actually not unusual. It’s a strong pattern to continue to focus externally. So I asked about how they felt, again.
They realized that they felt very good about the last interaction and felt as if they were even closer.
In that moment, their insight changed their story.
Here’s some ideas for a better conversation:
- What’s the potential of the outcome(s) you’re looking for?
- How can you best achieve those outcomes?
- What are the patterns of behavior that lead to the outcomes you’re trying to avoid?